After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
