I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize