I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
