Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize