I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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