dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
