He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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