maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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