Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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