i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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