I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
