I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
