Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
