Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
