you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
