Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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