I wish my penis had an off switch
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
