"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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