I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
