Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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