That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The air was thick with penises
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
