Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The adults are the big ones right?
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