"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize