This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize