And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
