Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
