I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
