Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize