Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize