Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize