"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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