Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
