note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
