What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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