I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize