eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
what day is it and did you see me today?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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