Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sponge bath it is.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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