even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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