btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's not a walk of shame if you run
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
