i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
