# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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