And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize