Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
