I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
