she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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