We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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