fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
