I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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