Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
