i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
