Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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