I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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