the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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