Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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