we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
