doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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