when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
