Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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