do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dignity is for republicans.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize