yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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