When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
